I attended a wedding after a long time. Infact, after almost a year. And I tell you, attending a NORTH INDIAN wedding is just awesome. We have all heard/read/seen (Monsoon Wedding) all the fanfare associated with Punjabi weddings. North Indian weddings aren’t nearly as loud or aggressive or full of drunken brawls. But still, we do weddings in our unique style.
North Indian weddings are fun, only because I love watching the way people interact. I mean, I attended a wedding recently where I had never seen the bride before (who is my second cousin by the way), I had never seen more than half the people there. Why was I there? Well because the bride’s father is my Mama, and he invited us. So I went all the way to Delhi for the weekend to attend the wedding. Seems very weird to go all the way to Delhi for someone’s wedding whose name I didn’t know. But that is how our weddings are. You typically go to a wedding not because you know the bride/groom, but because you know their mom/dad.
I remember one day I went for 3 weddings, thankfully all in Mumbai, and I had absolutely no idea whose weddings they were. But yeah, one thing I LOVE about those weddings, the food. I mean, it is AWESOME the variety, taste, fanfare, decoration, it all makes attending a wedding worthwhile, non-acquaintance with the bride/groom notwithstanding. On the triple wedding day, I ended up having starters and appetizers at one, main course at the second and deserts at the third…hehe…ohh what a night!! And of course, if you DO NOT eat at the weddings..its kinda considered like a slap on the hosts’ face..Yes…we have ENORMOUS egos…
So, north Indian weddings are never a one day affair. They are more like 2-3-4 day plans. More like a weekend retreat than a one day picnic. And the last 2 wedding have both happened in resorts. So you go for the weekend, take at least 4 changes of clothes (because that is the number of different functions you have to attend, and you are EXPECTED to wear different and NICE clothes for all), and have a fun party, paid for by someone else. What more could you ask for? And the number of guests, number of items on the menu, amount of decoration etc is proportional to the amount of money the families are willing to spend.
Coming back to the wedding I attended last, so there I was, hanging out with a few people whom I did know, also because most of my first cousins did not turn up. At first it seemed like it was going to be another typical 2 days and a gazillion functions where I would get thoroughly bored because I hardly knew anyone. But it turned out to be a lot of fun in the end. Especially, because the bride and groom’s cousins and friends took a whale of an effort to put together a memorable 2 days for the couple.
It is quite a change these days in weddings from the weddings of the yesteryears (read my mom’s generation). In those days, according to my mom’s stories, weddings were more of a family affair, when all my mom’s cousins and siblings would come together to make it a big party and celebration. And of course, my mom’s family was HUGE!!! They had a huge house, all resources available, they were rich and she had about 20 brothers and sisters!! So it was always a family affair.
Now, things have changed. Now friends are more involved than relatives. At least in my family, hardly any cousins participate in the wedding. They just show up wearing a suit/saree and a glum expression, eat, eat, eat and go away after handing in the coveted and much anticipated ENVELOPE filled with cash measured out considering the closeness of the relatives, relative wealth of the giver and also, on occasions, the warmth between the 2 parties. Now friends are the ones who plan, execute, manage and make the most noise in a wedding.
In this particular wedding, the bride’s little sister turned out to be an aspiring director. She made a 30 minute video about the couple, with snippets from their lives, their friends’ opinions about them, their parents’ wishes and thoughts. It was all very moving and immaculately put together. Kudos to her for making it a memorable night for her sister and Jiju.
I always thought that weddings were supposed to be about two families coming together, and people who are close to them joining in to add to the celebration and the fanfare. But somehow, this was never the case in any of the weddings in my family. They have always been more about showing off your status, position, wealth and ego. It was a change, welcome one at that, to attend a wedding where people actually cared about things other than the paneer tikka or the number of desserts.
All in all, thoroughly enjoyed this wedding. But my opinion about our weddings isn’t going to change so soon. For me, they still remain the Great Indian Showoff!
