As the blood welled up into his throat and filled up his mouth, he slowly looked up at the girl he had loved so much for so long. Even before his expression changed from shock to pain he could see the hatred in her eyes. The same black of her eyes that had attracted him to her, the same black of her eyes that gave him so much comfort were full of malice and hatred.
The first time he saw her was when she joined his theatre club. Rohan came to Mumbai to study acting, his one and true passion. Naina waltzed into the auditorium, with a smile on her face that made the well lit theatre sparkle with delight, and his heart skipped a beat when he saw her eyes. So clear and black, and so full of life that he felt they were the source of all his oxygen. Those were the eyes that were going to keep him alive.
The pain seared in his stomach and the blood spilled out of his mouth, his knees seemed to buckle, he staggered forward and she backed away, not touching him. His vision blurred when he saw the ring on her finger, he looked up at her mouth curled with melancholy and his mind went back to that night.
Naina helped him grow into a confident, self assured and brilliant actor. She was there with him when he got offered his first movie role. She held and squeezed his hand when he signed on the dotted line. The opening night of his movie had been the happiest. After the premiere, when they were alone, he went down on one knee and asked her to be his wife. As he placed the ring on her shaking finger, her eyes were full of tears, and the joy in them warmed his heart. He knew this was the start of his life when she whispered in his ears, “You’re mine, Forever.”
Rohan was jolted back to reality as his knees gave way and he sunk to the ground, reaching out to her, helplessly, hoping that she would extend her hand and hold him one last time. He supported himself on the kitchen counter as one hand went to the wound. The blood had started to flow freely and he knew the cut was deep enough. The knife she was holding dangled in front of his face and he saw the red drip from the silver of the blade. He knew that he was going to die.
The fame and money kept him busy. The offers flew in and he became busier than he could imagine. He got to see lesser of her than he liked. They both hated it, she more than him. As the paparazzi grew more adamant and the scandals grew more wild, she seemed to lose faith in him. When they were apart, he felt they were drifting away and when they were together, he no longer felt the same assurance in her touch, did not see the same love in her eyes. They were always questioning, doubting, never understanding, and he hated it.
Her insecurity reached the tipping point when she started drinking and one night threatened a co-actor of his. She broke a bottle and waved it around madly, calling her names and threatening her to stay away from her fiancé. Embarrassed, he apologized and carried her home. He left her at her house and resolved to talk to her the next day when she would be back to her senses. He knew he had to convince her that she was the only one for him.
The following morning, he messaged her to come over to his place for dinner. He knew he would win her back. He let her in and walked over to the refrigerator to get her a drink, when he suddenly sensed her behind him. He knew something was amiss when he turned and glanced over at the door. She had bolted it. He looked at her questioningly but immediately knew she was not in her senses. Her eyes were the darkest black he had ever seen them. And she had a cold sense of purpose in them. She was right in front of him and before he had time to react, she had withdrawn the dagger and sunk it into his abdomen.
He fell and as the darkness grew in front of his eyes, he looked at her one last time and saw the eyes he had loved so much, they were alight with pleasure, and when she spoke her voice broke his heart before it stopped beating. “If you’re not mine, you’re no one else’s either”. He descended into the darkness he knew was final.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Saturday, October 22, 2011
My Ruler Scales
Year and a half. That is how long it has been since I bothered to write even a word here. Pathetic blogging. SO not proud of myself. Truth is, I have begun, on various occasions, to write something heartfelt. Well, heartfelt is the only way I know how to write. I guess it is true of every person who has ever written a word , if you don't feel it, you can't put it into words. Unfortunately, have been keeping a lot of feelings locked up somewhere, hence was never able to complete a single post.
Even today, I have no idea if this will be posted. So if it will be, good for me!!!
What is this post about? Well, about quite easily the most valuable and important assets of anyone's life, my Friends.
It sometimes takes a significant life event, tragedy, achievement or epiphany to truly sift out the best of friends who deserve a place in your life. And the sifting out is more precise in times of distress than happiness. Funny how the human psych works. :)
So I have had a few moments of distress in life over the past few months, nothing quite dramatic or heart wrenching, just a few health issues which landed me in the hospital, with tubes in my arms and pathetic chemicals in my system, a couple of times. And the funny thing is, they were the most awesome days. Don't get me wrong, I was worried as shit for my health, but I had my amazing family (they ALWAYS come first, no matter WHAT anyone does for you) and a set of friends who REFUSED to leave me alone for even a second. Oh how you love it when someone tells you, "I am sorry I have to leave you and go home, I wish I could just stay with you in the hospital".
This post is not a thank you to any one of them. God knows I can not even begin to thank any of my friends for what they do, this is just an acknowledgement of what they mean to me. Following are just some of the people who have been there with me, through some of the most torrid times and also the best, who share every happiness with me as if they could feel it too, who celebrate every achievement with me as if it was their own, and who make every moment of desperation and sadness go away just by being who they are.
Deepak, My brother: For a good part of our lives, we have disagreed on almost everything we have thought of. I am glad that now, finally, we agree on one thing, that we mean a lot to each other. I know it took you going to UK for me to realize that you mean everything to me. Hopefully our relationship will become stronger as time goes by. And hopefully, I will be able to fulfill all the promises I have ever made to you. Thank you for being the most amazing elder brother I could have ever wanted.
Aneesha: Every moment since you have entered our lives, we have been thankful for all that you have given us. For me, you are the most AMAZING member of my family yet, because you have brought us all much closer than we could have ever imagined. I know you will pamper me someday as your younger brother, for now, I am content with just having those super awesome debates we have. :)
Vishal Nakate: This is one guy who has a heart made of GOLD, pure solid 24 Karat GOLD!!! He will do ANYTHING for you. He will be the friend who will be so possessive about you that you feel you don't NEED another friend in life if you have him. I remember the hug you gave me on New Year's eve this year, it communicated each and every moment of care you have ever felt for me. I need to thank some moment of fate that landed us together dude. Because you have made life so much more practical. I know that you think more practically than most people I have, and it is this practicality that has made me a big fan of yours dude!!!Love you a lot!!!
Anita Kanoje: Listed as my daughter on FB (:P), she is one person who is LIKE me. Almost a female version of me, with possibly less nakhras :P. We became friends only after college, and I pity myself for having lost out on years of some amazing friendship. You have been my sounding board for every wayward thought that has ever come to mind, only because you understand most of them before they are formed even in MY head. No week is fulfilling without a visit to Aromas and some gossip and philosophical bullshit with you. :)
Dallas Dias: You remain the only guy in my life who is possibly more emotional than I am, and that is a VERY tough emotional quotient to beat my friend. I have lost count of the number of times we have discussed the same things again and again and come to the same conclusions every time. I know our choices don't match (Well up until lately at least!!!) in most respects, but we are pretty much the same in the way we think and live. Thanks man. Without you, office would have been a depressingly horrid place to go to 5 times a week. I promise I will teach you how to bike before Goa :P
Pranay Karwa: You remain the Antithesis to me, even 2 years after college, we still have the same talks, maybe about different people now. I know if some of our chats were leaked, people could sue us for defamation :P Listening to your HYPERBOLES always makes me wonder what if I was like you :P. Nah, as you can imagine, we both can't imagine me doing what you do :P Thanks for everything man, some of the dialogues we had late into the night will remain the best talks about love, life and friendship (not to forget girls) I have had the privilege of being a part of.
No, I have not FORGOTTEN you Shweta Shukla , I have just kept you for the finale. As the person who deserves a whole post to herself, you can wait a while to read good things about you. As I maintain, someone up there is REALLY REALLY happy with me for having given me the pleasure and privilege of having you as a friend. Just being friends with you would have been enough payment for all the good deeds I have ever done, but No, God is kind, and we have been best friends for a long while now. It is your strength and friendship that has kept me intact in these tough times, your messages and love that give me the strength to face anything without dreading the worst, and also your wisdom in the unlikeliest of times that makes pain bearable. Thank you Baa, for being the most amazing human being to have ever been in my life. Calling you an angel is still stereotyping what you mean to me and limiting your purpose in my life. I think you give being friends a whole different meaning, when you live every moment for others, the purity of smile that you have is what you get. Cannot say this enough to you, Love you baa.
I know this is a LONG post, it has been a part of my head for a while, feels good to get it out finally. Maybe I have missed out on a few people here, maybe they will be part of another post some other day. For now, these are the people that are making this human birth worth fighting for. Thank you All. Can't love you enough. You are the measures of my life.
Even today, I have no idea if this will be posted. So if it will be, good for me!!!
What is this post about? Well, about quite easily the most valuable and important assets of anyone's life, my Friends.
It sometimes takes a significant life event, tragedy, achievement or epiphany to truly sift out the best of friends who deserve a place in your life. And the sifting out is more precise in times of distress than happiness. Funny how the human psych works. :)
So I have had a few moments of distress in life over the past few months, nothing quite dramatic or heart wrenching, just a few health issues which landed me in the hospital, with tubes in my arms and pathetic chemicals in my system, a couple of times. And the funny thing is, they were the most awesome days. Don't get me wrong, I was worried as shit for my health, but I had my amazing family (they ALWAYS come first, no matter WHAT anyone does for you) and a set of friends who REFUSED to leave me alone for even a second. Oh how you love it when someone tells you, "I am sorry I have to leave you and go home, I wish I could just stay with you in the hospital".
This post is not a thank you to any one of them. God knows I can not even begin to thank any of my friends for what they do, this is just an acknowledgement of what they mean to me. Following are just some of the people who have been there with me, through some of the most torrid times and also the best, who share every happiness with me as if they could feel it too, who celebrate every achievement with me as if it was their own, and who make every moment of desperation and sadness go away just by being who they are.
Deepak, My brother: For a good part of our lives, we have disagreed on almost everything we have thought of. I am glad that now, finally, we agree on one thing, that we mean a lot to each other. I know it took you going to UK for me to realize that you mean everything to me. Hopefully our relationship will become stronger as time goes by. And hopefully, I will be able to fulfill all the promises I have ever made to you. Thank you for being the most amazing elder brother I could have ever wanted.
Aneesha: Every moment since you have entered our lives, we have been thankful for all that you have given us. For me, you are the most AMAZING member of my family yet, because you have brought us all much closer than we could have ever imagined. I know you will pamper me someday as your younger brother, for now, I am content with just having those super awesome debates we have. :)
Vishal Nakate: This is one guy who has a heart made of GOLD, pure solid 24 Karat GOLD!!! He will do ANYTHING for you. He will be the friend who will be so possessive about you that you feel you don't NEED another friend in life if you have him. I remember the hug you gave me on New Year's eve this year, it communicated each and every moment of care you have ever felt for me. I need to thank some moment of fate that landed us together dude. Because you have made life so much more practical. I know that you think more practically than most people I have, and it is this practicality that has made me a big fan of yours dude!!!Love you a lot!!!
Anita Kanoje: Listed as my daughter on FB (:P), she is one person who is LIKE me. Almost a female version of me, with possibly less nakhras :P. We became friends only after college, and I pity myself for having lost out on years of some amazing friendship. You have been my sounding board for every wayward thought that has ever come to mind, only because you understand most of them before they are formed even in MY head. No week is fulfilling without a visit to Aromas and some gossip and philosophical bullshit with you. :)
Dallas Dias: You remain the only guy in my life who is possibly more emotional than I am, and that is a VERY tough emotional quotient to beat my friend. I have lost count of the number of times we have discussed the same things again and again and come to the same conclusions every time. I know our choices don't match (Well up until lately at least!!!) in most respects, but we are pretty much the same in the way we think and live. Thanks man. Without you, office would have been a depressingly horrid place to go to 5 times a week. I promise I will teach you how to bike before Goa :P
Pranay Karwa: You remain the Antithesis to me, even 2 years after college, we still have the same talks, maybe about different people now. I know if some of our chats were leaked, people could sue us for defamation :P Listening to your HYPERBOLES always makes me wonder what if I was like you :P. Nah, as you can imagine, we both can't imagine me doing what you do :P Thanks for everything man, some of the dialogues we had late into the night will remain the best talks about love, life and friendship (not to forget girls) I have had the privilege of being a part of.
No, I have not FORGOTTEN you Shweta Shukla , I have just kept you for the finale. As the person who deserves a whole post to herself, you can wait a while to read good things about you. As I maintain, someone up there is REALLY REALLY happy with me for having given me the pleasure and privilege of having you as a friend. Just being friends with you would have been enough payment for all the good deeds I have ever done, but No, God is kind, and we have been best friends for a long while now. It is your strength and friendship that has kept me intact in these tough times, your messages and love that give me the strength to face anything without dreading the worst, and also your wisdom in the unlikeliest of times that makes pain bearable. Thank you Baa, for being the most amazing human being to have ever been in my life. Calling you an angel is still stereotyping what you mean to me and limiting your purpose in my life. I think you give being friends a whole different meaning, when you live every moment for others, the purity of smile that you have is what you get. Cannot say this enough to you, Love you baa.
I know this is a LONG post, it has been a part of my head for a while, feels good to get it out finally. Maybe I have missed out on a few people here, maybe they will be part of another post some other day. For now, these are the people that are making this human birth worth fighting for. Thank you All. Can't love you enough. You are the measures of my life.
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