Too often has my mom told me, in much harsher words, “You
are just the laziest person I have ever seen”. I always brush it aside and say,
Ok, I like it. But these days, too many people have been pointing out how I am
too comfortable with what I have. Be it professionally or in the personal
aspects, I have always been very fond of familiarity. And lately, I am
wondering if that is such a good thing.
For far too long, I have always wanted to be around
things/people that know me, and that I know well. And this has been possible
because I have stuck to the same job for 4 years now. Just one job out of
college, and 4 years on, still pretty much the same faces around. The same
office building, the same route to-from office, the same cafeteria, the same
color schemes around the work desk. And for the past year or so, even the same
team to work with. Make no mistake, I am not complaining about my office. I love
the place. I like the work. But how long is long enough? How much time spent in
a job is enough? These are things that I did not think about a year back, but
now I am. Simply because, probably, I need some change.
I have lived all my life in Mumbai. 25 years. Of which 22 I have
spent in pretty much the same locality. 12 of which I have spent in the same
house. I have never had to live out of my house, and I know people who have
lived all their lives outside, for education or work, who keep telling me how
lucky I am. But honestly, am I? I make no assumptions about how independent I am.
I am not. I am too used to my mother’s cooking, and if put in a situation where
I have to fend for myself, I will probably not fair too well initially. But,
the issue is, I have never been put in the situation till now. So I won’t know.
I might fail, I might learn, I might be miserable for a while, but I still need
to try it. How? I have NO clue. How does one leave one’s own comfort zone and
push oneself into the storm? I don’t know if I can, because I have never tried
it.
Also, I am EXTREMELY lazy. To the extent that I won’t
exercise to lose weight even though I know I have a knee injury that kind of
makes it imperative to lose weight. I take up a lot of things and let them go. The
enthusiasm fizzles out, and then I have no idea how to sustain the effort. There
is barely any self-motivation right now. Probably because the stakes have never
been high enough. And I have gotten along being average, because my average has
been good enough. Don’t get me wrong, I am not boasting. I have no assumptions
about how brilliant and out of this world extraordinary I am. But I have a
knack for certain things, and I can get away with average effort, because even
that produces good results. I don’t know how good will my full effort be. The only
time I did put in everything I had, was in the 12th Board exams, and
I did fairly well then. Actually, I did very well. Surpassed all expectations
by a healthy margin, and then some. So yes, I know I can do good things with
what I have. I just don’t know HOW to get started on them. How to break this
lethargy and get on with life.
Any pointers guys?
